By: Patricia Baguio He was now in his late 20’s... a decade after he officially became a father. First to his son with the woman he loved and married and five more children, each as an older child with his five mistresses. Now, he lives alone. None of them, he recognized as child and wife, except his first. However, because of his infidelity, they separated. His son has been in the custody of his wife. The woman, he supposed, has a new lover. Their home is now just a house, with no one to live, no light, and no joy. He tried to get in touch with his son. The son, not knowing what his father did to his mother, kept on bridging the gap between his parents. But her mother just won’t accept it, not for the nth time. And time lapsed. And everyone got exhausted except the father who said, can’t live happier without his son. But the son disclosed that every time they see each other, her mother and grandma reprimand him. Perhaps he knew the true reason behind, but still chose to inform his father or rather, to confirm it to him. The father denied the accusations. The son was torn on whom to believe, but eventually, stopped seeing his father. His father understands. I saw this man looking at the picture of his grown up son through my Facebook account left open. He broke into tears as he noticed the surname used by his son. It was not his’ but his wife’s last name. He told me, perhaps, his son no longer recognizes him as a father. He worried more about the thought that his son hates him for what he did.
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By: Patricia Baguio One and a half hour of conversation over the phone flattered me. It was a call from a friend who used to be my special someone. He is confused with what to do with his work and his life. He asked my advice and thanked me for being understanding, witty and friendly despite everything we’ve been through. It’s as if we never had a conflict.
Hence, before we separated, I told him that perhaps we are better off as friends.As I see it now, that’s one of the best decisions I ever did in the name of love, to let go of someone whom I know will be happier with someone else. All along, I thought I was a boring, numb and insensitive lover. But to be missed this much to the point of him asking me out for so many times, him calling me this late night, him texting me more than his girlfriend, him is making me feel as the only person who can relate to him when it comes to matters involving his family and him making me feel that I am well taken care of, makes me feel I have done so much for him, that he can’t get over me. Or, can I just say, I am only assuming because of that long call? Whatever his reasons are for calling me despite his vast number of friends and contacts, I know it is something I should be happy about. But that’s all I can do, assume and be happy, nothing more. We are both committed to someone else. By: Christelle MarambaDear Me, I am writing this to let you know that I have to go. I am the reason why you think you are not worthy of being loved by someone you believe is great. I am the reason why you are so insecure about yourself. I am the reason why you hate change. Because I am the seed planted inside your head when you were just a kid, the seed planted by your mom when she told you that you need to be better because what you are now wasn’t enough. I am the reason why you hated change, I held you back from letting go all of your toxic friends growing up because I was so afraid of being alone. I was afraid that I wasn’t good enough to make new friends so I held on to those I had even when I knew they were not good for me. I was so insecure. I am so sorry for making you miss the opportunity of having better childhood friends. I have to go because I am making you miserable. I am the reason why you keep mostly to yourself, because I was so afraid to put myself out there and let others judge me freely. I would rather sit alone and listen to music all day rather than socialize because I was afraid of what other people might think of me. They might think I’m weird, a freak, and unworthy of their friendship. I am the reason why you are so unmotivated by life. I did not let you experience things that should have shown you how beautiful life is. I did not allow you to have the fun experiences a normal teenager should have had, the good ones or the bad, I forbade them all. I am so sorry I let it get this far. I am so sorry that I was so selfish, insecure and afraid. I am so sorry because now you are in a predicament, in between the life of a naive child and an adult who needs to grow up more. You lack wisdom and confidence because I did not practice them in real life. You have to let me go now because holding on to me is just going to cost you so much more. Let me go so you could start living. Let me go because I am the part of you that you do not need. I am the insecure, fearful, shy, and complacent version of you, and I am not who you really are. I just know that you could have better friends, more experiences and more will to live if you just stop holding on to me. I have to go because I am your escape from a world that you do not need escape from. The world is beautiful, and so are you. I love you. Sincerely, Your former self. |
AuthorMy name is Christelle and I like to read any kind of literary works. I will post here original works and some from other writers and I would lke to share them all with you. Enjoy! :) Archives
October 2016
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